6 months or thereabouts later and nothing, like the vodka, absolute, nothing, has changed - just older, grumpier and more disenchanted.

Sleep, glorious sleep. Have not been getting my usual 8 hrs the past few days and needed to recuperate, so napped on the sofa while the kids played computer lego - whatever that is.

Here is a doodle that i did while sitting bored in danish class - i like the contentment expressed - standing at the bus stop, with an uplifting thought and an ethereal tune.

so here i will try to add a picture like the dumbass who hit the publish post first... duhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhhduhh duhh duhh duhh duhh duhh

I just want to try to add a jpeg - see if the dimensions measure up and what it look like.

I'm only writing this so that it won't be turned off....

Who am I kidding? All the little problems have arisen today - nothing major. In the larger scheme of things, these minuscule annoyances would not annoy me - but today, the larger scheme of things has taken a back seat...

I have been fighting with myself for well over, what, ten years now and the past few weeks have got to be one of the epic battles - though thankfully, alcohol has not played such a prominent role as it has in the past. And why the fight - guess it comes down to not liking who or what I am and always wanting to be something or somebody else.
And what are those things that I would like to be - how about a list of the things I have always wanted to do but never got round to for a number of various reasons;
wanting to know how to type would be a good start - then this list would go faster.
wanting to know how to draw.
wanting to know how a camera really works, not just those point and press jobs
wanting to know how to play an instrument - the mouth organ for instance.
wanting to know how to paint.
wanting to know how to give up smoking and all those other bad habits that make me, me.
wanting to know how to fire a gun.
wanting to know how to be a better lover

Thats a good start - so now, in my 33rd year, I have about 11 months left to release these tasks.
No problem, yeah. And wanting to know how to keep the discipline to keep this blog going...
How morbid I am today!